An example to us all....

Humans are judgmental creatures, especially of other humans.  We judge them by their hair style, their clothing choices, piercings, tattoos, skin color, how they carry themselves, whether they meet our eyes or not - we look at someone and make a snap decision about them without even having said a word.  We have no idea of their life situation,  their educational level or interests, their family story or the work they do, how they live their life or what they believe in or whether they volunteer somewhere.  It is all about appearances, which, as we know, can be very deceiving.  Poems, songs, movies and books are written about love at first sight, which is rare, but little is acknowledged about distaste at first sight, which is all too common.

It stings, to be negatively judged on outward appearances.  It diminishes the inner soul, as you are dismissed as unworthy in some intangible way to participate in the larger world around you.  The constraints placed upon us by the unfair impression of others is hurtful, even if it is a minor incident.

Many years ago, I needed to purchase a gown.  It was important to have the right dress for the occasion, and it was an annual chore to find the garment that would suit both me and the event appropriately.  Ironically, I needed to make the right impression on people who rarely saw me, and it was important that I represented myself well on that night.  For the most part, I am not much of a shopper - casual is more my speed, and I usually throw on whatever is nearest without a lot of thought given.  So this particular shopping trip was always a struggle for me.  I usually procrastinated and put it off as long as possible, making it even more of a burden, since the date was looming large by the time I finally got on the ball.

I do not dress up to shop.  I do not wear makeup, and I don't go in high heels.  If I have to shop, at the very least, I want to be comfortable.  On this particular occasion, I was wearing worn out jeans with some small holes in the knees, ratty, worn tennis shoes, and my old winter coat, which had seen better days, but is very warm.

I went into a department store which I thought may have something suitable, and started looking at the evening wear on display.  Upon spying me in her section, the frantic clerk rushed over, looked me up and down, and informed me that the less expensive clothing, which would be more to my liking, could be found downstairs.  It wasn't the words alone that betrayed her judgement.  It was the attitude.  Obviously, she had decided I wasn't a serious shopper, couldn't afford her clothing, and didn't want to waste her time with me.  So she directed me to the bargain area, where she thought I belonged.

After a stunned moment of realization as to what had just happened, I drew myself up to my full height, handed her back the dress I had in my hand, informed her I would take my bank account and my business elsewhere, and I marched out of that store with my head held high.  Perhaps my response changed her impression of me, because she chased after me, belatedly trying to make amends, but of course, it was far too late for her to salvage the situation.  I was done.

I was offended to be so judged.  Her attitude made such an impression on me, in fact, I have never shopped there again.  (Well, that is not quite true.  I have shopped there one other time, because it was the only store in the world I knew of that carried this particular item I just knew was perfect for a gift.  I have been punished for that, too, but that's another story!)

It was interesting to compare that experience with the next store, which is far more upscale, and where I spent a tidy sum.  They treated me with respect from the moment I walked in the door, they accepted me as a customer regardless of appearance, and gave me every courtesy, even though they also probably initially assumed I couldn't afford their clothing.  They had a customer for life.  If I ever need another piece of high quality evening wear again, that will be my first destination.

As insignificant as this moment was, there was a serious lesson in it for me as a Christian.  Too often, we see church people striking an attitude of superiority over others, making judgments and dismissing those they see as less pious, as if being a follower of God grants us some sort of immunity from actually living as Jesus lived.  But we are not called to stand on a hill and draw attention to ourselves for being perfect.  On the contrary, Jesus came to save the lost, and spent his time with those in need of his healing salvation.

There is danger in judging others.  In our actions and our attitude, we may push away those who need salvation, even if our words are those of welcome.  God is not well served by those who think they are better than others because they believe in him.

We are not called to judge, we are called to love.  The life Jesus lived was one of service to others.  We serve, not to get credit for ourselves, but to quietly follow his loving example, and to demonstrate for others the joy of living in the Kingdom.

Today I am grateful for the example of arrogance I was served in the form of a clerk with an attitude.  She is a long lasting reminder that judgement is dangerous, and the hurt can turn someone off forever.  Ultimately, in walking away, the store was damaged, because a customer was gone for good.  When our actions or our attitude push someone away from God, the result is not a lost sale, but a lost soul.  The consequences are eternal, for both the person, and their Creator.  It is not worth a snap judgement that may well be wrong.