Siblings

When my son was five years old, he came to me one day with a small figure made of blue Playdoh.  He handed me his creation, and said,

"Okay Mommy.  Here is my baby sister.  Blow air into her and make her alive."

He was so trusting, so sincere, so convinced that was all it required for him to have the baby sister he wanted so badly.  I think he must have heard the story of Adam and Eve, and figured if it was good enough for them, it would work for us, too.

It was difficult to explain to him that life requires more than Playdoh, and that as much as he wanted a baby sister, it was probably not going to happen.  Unbeknownst to him, I had suffered several miscarriages, and the likelihood of my carrying a baby to term was becoming remote.  I had given up, and I tried, as gently as I could, to help him give up his dream, as well.

No one could have been more surprised than I was to deliver a baby girl just a year later.  One of the most precious moments of my life was watching my son's face when he entered my hospital room after seeing her for the first time and hearing his little voice exclaiming, "She's ADORABLE.  Just ADORABLE."  His eyes were beaming, his smile was bigger than I have ever seen it before or since, and it was obvious his world was now complete.

I have photos of the day my family got me, and the expression on my brother's face was much the same.  Pride, joy, excitement, all mingled into one elated expression.  

My mother and father were both very close to their siblings, and they passed on a love for family that has traveled down through succeeding generations.  They made a point of getting together often, and they modeled successful siblinghood for all of us to emulate.

There is nothing like a sibling to share your life.  They are the only people who really understand your parents like you do and what life looks like from the inside of your family.  If you are fortunate, they share your memories, your hopes, your joys, your fears and your losses.  They are there in good times and in bad, not only for you, but for your children as well.

If you spend time with people who have dementia, siblings are among the last people they will forget.  There is something so integral about our siblings, so immediate, that even as we lose everything meaningful, they are still there in our minds.

Siblings are God's way of providing built in playmates.  They teach us to share, to negotiate, to accept, and ultimately to love in spite of our differences.  They are part of the platform from which we spring into the world of adulthood, for better or for worse.

Not all families are strong.  Sometimes the foundation is flawed, or crumbling.  Not everyone is fortunate in their family, and sometimes the sibling relationship is fractured, or even broken entirely.  For some people, their siblings will not be there to share the burden and hold their hand through good times and bad.  But even when the relationship is poor, you can learn and grow and benefit from the experience.

Today I am grateful for siblings.  I am grateful to have my brother to bounce things off of, to worry with me, to talk with and share life experiences.  I am equally thankful that my children love each other and share their lives, still close friends and confidants, even as adults living far apart.  God knew people needed companionship, so he provided siblings to walk through life with us.