Hair...

I have never had the gift for hair artistry.  I can just about manage a pony tail on a good day, but I am over-achieving if I shoot for anything fancier than that.  My daughter can do a messy bun and it looks classic, intentional and lovely.  My messy bun just looks... messy.  And it all goes downhill from there.

For many years I fought with my hair, struggling to control it and force it to do my will.  I would choose styles that I thought were cute or attractive, only to fall short, because my hair simply would not cooperate.  I have relatively course, naturally wavy hair, which, for some unknown reason, seems to be getting curlier and increasingly less manageable as I get older.  The styles I have always yearned for were more appropriate for people with fine, straight hair, which falls where it is supposed to and stays in place.  It is frustrating to be so out sync with my own desires.

Some years back, I finally clued in to my mistake.  I wanted styles that were wrong for my type of hair, and they were never going to work for me, no matter how hard I tried.  In other words, the problem, ultimately, wasn't my hair.  The problem was, in fact, me.

It was a revelation.  Once I identified the root problem, the answer was easy.  I stopped looking for precise cuts which required each hair to know its place, and went with styles which allow my thick, messy tresses to go where they want.  In short, I realized I had to let go of my unattainable desires and work with what I have been given, instead of trying to make it something it was never going to be.  And somehow, it finally looks exactly right.

My lack of understanding about what was realistic held me back from being the best version of me that I could be.  Insisting on having my own way was futile.  It distracted me from other, more important things that I could have been doing, and took a lot of time for no good purpose, because in the end, it didn't work out as I had planned, anyway.

I think my battle with my hair is a lot like life.  We so often get tied up with what we want or what we think should be, that we totally miss what is.

God created each one of us an individual, with our own set of traits, our own unique personality, and our own one-of-a-kind gifts.  Although we may be stretched and pulled at times, God has provided us exactly what we need to be the best version of ourselves.  We may fight and shove and want something different, but ultimately, God's plan is the only one that will work, because he is the Master Planner, and he is the one who is control.

Today, I am grateful for my unruly, out of control hair.  It is a constant, necessary reminder that I am not the one in charge.  God will allow me to struggle and even to have my own way, but it will never be fully right, because it's not the path God intended for me.  It is only when I am walking in his will that the journey will lead me to the cross, and his unending grace.