Prayer...

Prayer is a tricky thing.  In Matthew 21:22, we are told,

"And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." ESV

But as we all know from personal experience, we can pray very fervently and still not receive what we ask for.  People die, divorces happen, jobs are lost, children are wayward, friendships are broken, homes are repossessed.  It is frustrating, disheartening, sometimes devastating, to speak and not feel heard by the God who has promised us he will answer us in our hour of need.  So how do we reconcile our asking with God's apparent rejection?

This is a stumbling block to faith for many.  Everyone has prayed for something and not felt heard, probably many times over.  The question of why is hard to answer, especially when we are limited by human vision, while God has no boundaries.

It is unsatisfying to us to be told "No" or "Not now."  It causes us to doubt the value of prayer when we feel unheard.  So why does God tell us to pray and we will receive when he clearly doesn't mean what we think it does?  All of the deepest wounds in my life, my father's early death, divorce, miscarriages, deaths of friends far too soon, all manner of needs, have been prayed over, fervently, but I did not receive the answer I was looking for, at least not in the way that I, as a human being, can understand.  Did I not pray hard enough?  Was I not sincere enough?  Should I have done something differently to achieve my desired outcome?

And yet, God's word is absolute.  He means what he says, and if I believe what the Bible tells me, if I believe in an all knowing, all powerful God, I must also believe that he hears and answers each prayer.  The conflict is difficult, sometimes impossible, to reconcile.

It has taken me many years to come to an answer I can live with, and it is still unsatisfying.  When we act on faith, when we pray as God intends, ultimately we pray for his will to be done.  His vision exceeds our limited understanding of how things should be, just as a parent can see far reaching consequences of a child's actions long before they realize what is happening.  By putting things in God's hands, we must accept that his judgement exceeds our understanding, and sometimes the answer will not be what we are hoping for.  I think it really is as simple as that.  God knows what we do not.

Prayer is a conversation with God.  It is a conduit to our all powerful, all knowing Creator.  He knows every grain of sand on the beach, and every hair on our head.  He surely knows the needs of our heart.  When we pray with pure intention, when we ask God to act with our best interests, or the best interests of someone else, in mind, the answer may be startling or unexpected, but it will always be right, because God does not make mistakes.

Today, I am grateful for prayer.  It gives me an ever present, ongoing path to God, my Savior and my friend.  Although I frequently puzzle over the answer, it gives me a small glimpse of his vision and a path towards his grace.  When I get to heaven, I will have questions to ask.  But while I am here, I will trust that God's understanding exceeds my limited expectations, and try to be content with the answer I get.