Endings and beginnings...

Four years ago, I walked away from the life I had known for well over 20 years to move back to my home town.  I had a number of pressing reasons for the decision, but those important reasons did not make the process easier for me.  I sold the home in which I raised my children, gave up the majority of my possessions, left the friends who had become family, and went back to a place where I would be starting over, despite having been there before.  I felt, in many ways, that I had come full circle.  I had lost almost everything tangible that I had spent my life building, and was back to square one.

I had no idea then what I would secure by losing.  It would have been a lot easier if I had been able to see the future and know that four years later, I would have regained everything I thought I was giving up and more.

It was only through finishing one phase of my life and closing that door completely, that I was able to move on to the next phase and find the joy that was waiting for me.  It is in retrospect that I understand the release which happens when you let go of the present and move ahead to the future.  What I thought was an ending was really only the first step to something new and different.

When Jesus was on the cross, he was finishing his earthly life.  He had done what he had come to do.  He had shared his message, spread the ministry God set out for him, and then he faced the ultimate sacrifice.  In John 19:28 we read,

Jesus knew that everything was now finished, and to fulfill the Scriptures he said, "I am thirsty."

I have thought a lot about what that means, because, in fact, his work was not quite done.  On the contrary, our salvation was won, not just in his death, but in his resurrection.  As his life ended, it was the beginning of something new and better and different, not just for him, but for us.  So what does it mean when we read that Jesus knew everything was finished?  And did the reference to thirst mean something more?

The easy answer, of course, is that this passage is referring to his human life.  But I think it means something more than that.  The Old Testament is filled with allusions to the Savior of the world.  Prophets predicted his coming, and there are hundreds of passages which talk about his life, ministry, and ultimate death, written many hundreds of years before his birth.

Jesus knew that the cross was the fulfillment of the prophecies, the end of waiting for the Savior. It must have been a relief to give up the burden he had been carrying on our behalf and know that he had finished the earthly mission upon which God had sent him.

Once he had achieved this goal, then, at last, he admitted to thirst.  No doubt by that time his dying body was dehydrated and in terrible pain.  I am sure every cell was crying out for relief, and the vinegar water they had offered and which he had thus far rejected was finally welcome.  Finally, this part of his mission over, he was able to ask for some relief.

But the more I read and think about his words, I believe he is also referring to his thirst to return to God.  His time on earth is drawing to a close, and his eyes are turning towards heaven and God.  I think he is thirsting to be back in the company of his father, as we all are when we are committed to him.  He has sacrificed his all, and is ready to return to where he started, renewed and refreshed, the same, yet different.  By closing the door to this earthly realm, he can once again return to his Father in heaven for all eternity.

Because Jesus was human, he understands the difficulties of facing endings in our human lives.  But in looking forward, we also look heavenward, and in so doing, we find hope and renewal.

Today I am grateful for endings and beginnings, especially the death and resurrection of my Savior.  Because God values each one of us above all else, he chose us to be with him, and we will end our life on earth with the promise of beginning our eternal life with him.