Living in the light

 I read a line from Pastor Joseph Yoo that has really stuck with me while I pondered Psalm 121 the last few days.  

Withholding forgiveness is like drinking rat poison and expecting the other person to die.

Wow.  What a vivid word picture that gives me of the corrosive nature of holding resentment.

Psalm 121 gives me the other side of the story:

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
    from where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you will not slumber.
He who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day
    nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all evil;
    he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
    your going out and your coming in
    from this time on and forevermore.

When someone harms us, we are not required to forget the harm.  Reconciliation can come later, if it comes at all, although personally I think it usually, though not always, should be a goal.  But to hold on to resentment is to harm one's own soul, and the damage generally comes back to us.  Help in letting go, especially in forgiving the unforgiveable, comes from the Lord, and it is through him that evil will be kept at bay.

There are those who will scoff at the power of faith.  Fair enough.  It is their choice to do so, and I cannot do anything to change their minds, other than live the Jesus way - to love others, to help others, to offer myself as a servant for others, just as Jesus did.  I think faith actions speak a lot louder than words in the cacophony of current culture, so that is where I put my effort.

In my 65 years on this planet, I have had plenty of opportunity to sit with and hold injustice or injury towards me, or to actively choose to forgive and move forward without the baggage.  I can honestly say, it has required God's help (and some serious therapy) to move forward a few times, but I have never once regretted it when I chose to do so.  Reconciliation has not always been possible, or even desirable.  God doesn't expect us to put ourselves in harm's way, and Matthew 10:34-39 speaks directly to this.  But to let go of corrosiveness in our hearts is for our own good, and with his help, we can surely do it.  I have, and have been so much better for it, even when it was very hard; even when it remains a work in progress.

It is easy, when we have been harmed by someone's actions or words, to wish to hurt them back.  That desire intensifies when the harm extends to the people we love most, especially our children.  But one of the hardest truths I've had to learn in life is that people who inflict willful harm on me generally don't care how I feel.  My desire to hurt them back has no effect on them, because they simply don't care.  I might as well eat rat poison, because the only person I'm hurting in the end is me.

I do not pretend it is easy.  I won't say letting go, turning the darkness to light, is a one time event.  Its an ongoing process lasting years, maybe even a lifetime.  Sometimes you have to turn on the light over and over again, because somehow, that switch likes to dim itself on its own.  But prayer, reflection, and sheer perseverence do work.  And you can do it any time, anywhere.  You have the power of complete healing through the loving grace of God.  He is your keeper, if you let go and allow him to be.  He will guard your heart, if you let him keep your life and your way.

Just as no one can stop us from praying anywhere we want to, whenever we need to, no one can stop us from letting go, forgiving and moving on from those who seek to harm us and dim our light.

Evil hides in the darkness.  Choose the light.  BE the light in the world today.