Win/Win...

I don't remember a time in my life when music was not a part of my daily routine.  I started tickling the ivory keys of our old upright piano before I even went to kindergarten, and my mother, determined that I would learn to play "properly" and not all haphazard, started me on lessons.

I loved to play piano.  I had lots of books and sheet music, and played and sang for hours after school and on weekends.  What I did not love, however, was the practicing for lessons that I was required to do.  Books of scales, books of classical music, books that were designed to teach me skills I didn't understand the need for - it bored me, and I was a reluctant pupil, at best.

I also had chores to do around the house, one of which was wiping the dishes after Mom had washed them.  It was an annoying task - not difficult, but tedious, and I would rather have been reading a book or doing almost anything else.  Mom saw an opportunity, and took it, not realizing she was giving me a life lesson in negotiation I have never forgotten.

She made a deal with me.  She would wash and dry the dishes after supper if I would practice my piano lesson while she was working.  It was an easy deal to make - I would rather play piano than dry dishes, and I grabbed it, thinking I won and she lost.

What I didn't realize until later was that my mother, who also loves music, was winning, too.  She didn't mind drying the dishes - that was the easy part of the process, after all!  And she liked to hear me play, so she enjoyed the musical accompaniment to her work.  It was a win/win situation for both of us, and worked well for several years.  It was a great lesson in compromise, and taught me that it is possible for everyone to win, if you are creative in your solution.

She could have forced me to practice - she was the mom, after all, and there was never any doubt in either of our minds who was really in charge in our household.  But she was a crafty one, and found a way to make it pleasant for us both, allowing me to feel like I had some control over my life in a time when a lot of things felt beyond my control.

Sometimes there are winners and there are losers, and it cannot be avoided.  But often, if you work at it, everyone can get something they want, and everyone is the better for it.

Proverbs 15:1 says,

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Mom knew that by forcing me to practice, she would take the joy out of playing for me, and too soon, I would quit and never do it again.  By gently giving me a choice (which she knew I would take) she ensured that the practicing got done in a way that would encourage, rather than discourage, my future musical endeavors.

I still play, almost every day.  I can spend hours at the piano, playing everything from contemporary songs to complex classical pieces, and it is all due to her.  Sometimes everybody really does win.  I am grateful for the wise mother who taught me early to look for simple compromises that make life better for everyone.

Dear Lord, thank you for my mother's wisdom.  Her gentle answers constantly soften hard situations, and show me the way to a better outcome.  Amen.