Worker bees....

Pastors struggle with mental illness, especially depression, at a high rate.  They take on the problems and cares of their parish, absorb the blows associated with any job, uplift others without thought for their own needs, and frequently fail to address the issues that are boiling within for fear that once the door is open, they won't be able to close it again.  It is a gift to be a pastor, to be entrusted with the most sacred of moments in the life of a parish.  But it is also a great burden, too often borne alone.

In 1 Thessalonians 5: 12-13, we read;

"Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you.  Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work.  Live in peace with each other.

This is a difficult time to be a pastor.  There is much confusion and disagreement over right and wrong, what we should do about the various issues of the day, how we support those in need while continuing to uphold the values we believe in.  Not only do pastors face difficult decisions within their own parish, they also face a constant barrage of criticism online and on social media.  It must be overwhelming, and you have to be a strong person to face the daily struggle.

I am thankful for all those who take on that hard task, who faithfully shepherd their flock, who live their best life to God's highest calling, and who sacrifice their family time, their minds and hearts, their physical safety, their everything to serve the rest of us.  It is a gift of the spirit.  Wishing each pastor (and missionary and lay worker) God's peace, and the knowledge that grace is ever present and his mercy is eternal.

Separation....

We live in a world filled with labels.  We are conservative or liberal.  We are white/black/people of color.  We are Christian/Muslim/Jewish.  We are tall or short.  We want to know everything about people, not because we are interested in knowing their true heart, but to box them in and label them and identify whether they are with us or against us.  We are no longer looking for what binds us together, but rather, what separates us. In today's world, it is the differences that matter, not what draws us closer.

It is painful to be separated from those we love.  I have recently watched close family members fractured over what are, ultimately, fairly insignificant differences on a public forum.  I have seen long term friendships end over political differences.  I have seen people wounded because of careless words from someone who would never utter those thoughts if they knew the inner pain of the person they are addressing.  The moments are fleeting, but the separation is real and the impact is lasting.

As I used to tell my children when they were young, you can glue a broken lamp back together again, but the crack will always be there, and it will always be a little more fragile than it was before the break.  I am seeing more and more cracks in the foundations of our basic relationships, as well as the public discourse, and I am scared where it is leading us.  Tribalism is a natural instinct, and it can be brutal for those who don't conform.

In Romans 8:38-39 we are told by Paul:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I am clinging to the promise contained in that passage these days.  The power of those words is healing in the hardest circumstances.  No matter how much hatred, fear, danger or scorn we face in the secular world we live in, God is forever seeking us, healing us, embracing us.  He doesn't look for where we go wrong so that he has an excuse to pull away from us.  Instead, he seeks our heart, and actively draws us to him, in spite of our wrongdoing or our misdeeds or our misunderstanding.  The only thing that can separate us from God's love, in fact, is our own choice.  When we reject him, we feel the chasm.  But he is always there, ready and waiting to welcome us back the moment we reach out for him.

I am thankful that I am uplifted by the love of a God who is more powerful than the dark nature of a world which is increasingly cold and filled with rage.  There is not one thing in this world that can separate me from God's love.  God is steadfast and unfailing.  That is a promise for which I am truly filled with thanksgiving.

Thanking forward...

It is easy to say "Thank You!" when someone has done something nice for you.  It is easy to appreciate the effort to please, or the special effort on your behalf.  It is easy to look around when things are good and be filled with thanksgiving at our own good fortune.  This is not a bad thing - we should be thankful for the blessings that have been showered upon us.

But, of course, there is a rub.  We are asked to be thankful in all things.  All things.  That is not exclusive.  That does not mean all the things we really like or enjoy, leaving out the things that displease us.  It does not differentiate the good things and the bad things, allowing us to be thankful for what we want, but grumpy about the rest of it.  It means all the time, whether we like it or not, whatever the circumstances or conditions in which we find ourselves.  That is a big ask, because life can be very hard indeed, and sometimes the things we deal with are very hurtful.  How can God ask us to be thankful for those hard things?

This is a complicated and difficult question, but it is one every single Christian is asked to answer, both when faced with an unbeliever, and eventually even by our own inner doubt.  If there is a God, how can he allow Fill In The Blank to happen?  Where is there room for thanksgiving in famine, rape, murder, cancer... the list is endless.  Where is God in the midst of despair, we are asked.  How does a loving, caring God answer for starving children in far flung countries, refugees fleeing for their very lives, preventable disease killing people without hope?  And how, in the face of such despair, do we feel thankful?

I have been reading 1 Thessalonians in its entirety, and I find much comfort and solace there.  We are not tied to this moment.  We must trust that there is a future which will diminish today's trials into nothingness.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:3 we read:

While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

This very visual metaphor is particularly resonant for me, because while labor is painful, the outcome is pure joy.  Many of life's difficult moments lead to something better for having endured, even when the good things are hiding from our sight in the moment.

That is God's promise when we trust in the his plan for our lives.  Whatever trials present themselves, the glory of eternity will outweigh the pain of this moment, and we can already be thankful that God, in his infinite wisdom and mercy, has planned for every eventuality.

I am mindful of the experiences of the Holocaust survivors.  Their very survival is a lesson to me about the importance of thankfulness in all things, as many of them talk about how it kept them from giving up all hope.  The stories of Corrie Ten Boom are particularly well known to me, and it was one of the great moments of my life to visit the home where she lived a few years ago, to step into The Hiding Place, and to realize the immense sacrifice she made for the seven people she saved.

In her book, "The Hiding Place," Corrie describes how during her time in the concentration camp, she was encouraged by her sister, Betsie, to be thankful in all things, but Corrie was having a difficult time with it.  The conditions were sub-human, and their existence so squalid it was challenging to give thanks.  The fleas that permeated their bedding were the last straw, and she just couldn't bring herself to be thankful for them.  But Betsie insisted, so Corrie prayed her thanks for the fleas, certain her sister was wrong, but humoring her anyway.  It turned out the Bible study they had carried out with their fellow prisoners was allowed to continue because the supervisors refused to go into the area to avoid the fleas.  How much encouragement and support were given during those uninterrupted hours because of those fleas?

Give thanks in all circumstances.  Peace and safety are an illusion, subject to change at any moment.  But God is faithful and ever present, and we can always be thankful that his plan is perfect, even in the midst of the worst life can throw at us.  Our human moments are but a blip in eternity.  God has us for all time.  Today, I am thankful for the hard times that will bring me closer to God and his plan for all eternity.

Thankfulness....

As my followers know, I have done several series on gratitude during Lent.  I want to share my faith story with everyone in gratitude for God's endless mercy to me.

However, as important as gratitude is, and as much as I have thought about it, it is not the only aspect of grace response that I consider.  I have been contemplating thankfulness recently, and feel the time has come to share some of the journey with those who would like to walk with me as I reflect on this topic.  It is, in a sense, my Thanksgiving offering to the God who has given me everything.  People have been kind enough to share with me how much they have enjoyed and appreciated my thoughts, and that my words have, in some cases, helped them along their faith journey, too.  It encourages me to continue the story, and I love it when you share with me, as well.

So we begin here - are these two things, gratitude and thankfulness, different?  I believe that, although often bound up in some of the same events, they are, in fact, very different responses, emanating from different places within our soul.

Gratitude is fairly straightforward.  You can usually find something to be grateful for, because, as the cliche goes, it could always be worse.  Even small blessings bring a rush of gratitude, as you consider the alternatives.

Likewise, it is easy to be carelessly thankful when everything is going our way. But while gratitude is based on what we have already received, thankfulness is rooted in trust.  It is less tangible and more fragile, all at the same time.  To my mind, gratitude is a response, thankfulness is an action.  I take for my inspiration 1 Thessalonians 5:18:

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

That is my challenge, my goal and my mission statement.  To be able to give thanks, no matter what is happening in my life, good or bad, and to trust that God has a plan that will surpass any understanding I have in that moment.  God knows my future, and he has it covered, even if I can't see it from my limited perspective.

I am not a theologian or philosopher, I am a simple human sharing my story.  Thank you for once again sharing my faith journey from now until Thanksgiving, whether it is one day or every post. Wishing you thankfulness in your journey, as I am thankful in mine.

My portion and my hope....

There is nothing more profoundly life changing than having your first child.  To go from being the center of your own universe to being the complete caretaker for someone so utterly dependent on you they don't even know their own needs is a mind warp, and it happens in an instant.  You think you are ready.  You think you are prepared.  You buy diapers and clothing and toys and make the room ready for the new arrival.  You choose names and consider car seats and strollers.  You imagine them growing up and think about how all this will impact your life.  But you have no idea, until they actually arrive, how completely your apple cart will be upset.

I thought I was fully prepared for my first child.  I thought I had everything in hand.  I was wrong.  From the moment he was handed to me, I was engulfed in a fog of love from which I don't think I have ever emerged.

I am not blind to fault, even in the case of my beloved children.  But I have realized you cannot be entirely objective about your own child, either.  You want others to see their best qualities, and you are chagrined when people don't view them in the same shining light.  You try to encourage them to be their best, even when they are determined to prove you wrong.  Growing up is hard work, and none of us are perfect at the process.

But the first child is the experiment, the one who refines the parenting process.  You don't know what is coming until you experience it, because it reads differently in books than it does in reality.  It is, in many cases, the blind leading the blind, and I'm not sure who was in front at times.

I have always been more contemplative of my own life on the day before each child's birthday, because the change incurred to my life was as dramatic, in some ways, as to theirs.  They were unaware, but so was I.  The adventure ahead was unknown to us both, and the outcome just as uncertain.

Would I be a good enough mom?  Would I have what it takes?  Where would I get the patience, the wisdom, the understanding, the common sense, to guide this dependent child in the right way?  It was all so overwhelming.

I thought in terms of days and weeks, not years, back then.  I couldn't imagine 18 years on the job.  No one explained to me that this is a lifetime responsibility, and that I would never be released from it.  Young parents fantasize about the day they will once again be free to do as they please, unaware that you will never again, in your own head, be just me.  You are eternally, forever more, we.  But its okay, because you wouldn't trade it for anything.

Tomorrow my son turns 33.  I have been his mom for much longer than I was not a mom, and I can't imagine my life any other way.  He is so much more than I could ever have imagined.  It has been such a fun journey, watching him grow into the adult he has become.  But in my head, I still have the instant replay of all the special moments where he is still my little boy, holding my hand, throwing his arms around my neck, and letting me know I was his whole world.

I didn't plan to be a parent.  I thought my place in the world would be different, more unconventional.  And then, in an instant, my world changed, my place at the table of life was set, and my portion served up in the form of a little whirlwind with dark curly hair and beautiful brown eyes and a little brain that whirred every minute of the day challenging my thoughts and my ideas and my life as I knew it.  Spending time with him gives me hope that the future is as promising as the past.  He makes the world a better place because he is in it.  There is nothing more you can ask for as a parent.

Lamentations 3:24 says:

"The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I hope in him."

God has been ever present in my parenting life, and I have constantly placed my hope and trust in him.  I have occasionally wandered off the path, but God gave me everything I needed to be the parent he wanted me to be.

Happy birthday, Sonshine.  You are loved beyond measure.

Kate and me....

Like so many other people have expressed over the last couple of days, I too remember my very first Kate Spade purse.  It was a purchase made on a whim, ironically, in a very low time of my life when I was battling the same depression that ultimately ended Kate's life.  I was walking through a department store when this purse (I have always been a sucker for a cute bag) caught my eye.  It was whimsical, fun, light and eye catching - everything I thought I wasn't - and I bought it on impulse.

That purse marks a critical personal moment for me, one where everything in my life shifted in a heartbeat, and that purse was the siren call of change.  Every single time I carry that purse, to this day, I remember the feelings I had as I bought that purse and started to carry it.

I loved Kate's purses in those early days because they were a lot like me - practical, relatable, easy to use, uncomplicated and slightly off beat.  She paid attention to important details, like the little metal feet on the bottom of the purse so if you set it down in a bathroom stall, the purse didn't really touch the floor.  Not fancy, but it mattered.  The size was just right, and exactly fit everything I needed.  The colors were vibrant and fun, and the styling was impeccable.  Kate's purses were everything I wanted to be myself, all in a stylish bag I was proud to carry.

Here's the thing - by looking at a Kate purse, I felt like I was looking at Kate.  And she looked a lot like me.  I felt like she was someone I would meet at my neighbor's house over a cup of coffee, and we could talk and be friends.  I felt like she was someone I could understand, and who could understand me.  She designed for people like me, because she was designing what she would want for herself, and it showed.  I didn't know her, but I felt like I knew who she was, and it gave me courage to be who I was, because if it was good enough for her, then it was good enough for me.  And to BE me.

I am sad, today, to know that Kate struggled with depression and anxiety.  I am sad for anyone who knows, up close and personal, the feelings of despair and hopelessness that accompany those mental conditions.  But I have always been open about the struggle, because I never felt any concern about a stigma that may be associated with them.

I am doubly sad for Kate that she never felt she could share her struggle, for fear of damaging her brand.  I have no doubt that was a real fear - I think most famous people do worry about that, because they have to.  Just watching the paps stalking her family as they struggle to come to terms with the shock is enough to remind me what a gilded cage celebrities inhabit, and the limited confines in which they live.

How isolated she must have felt, in the midst of the opulence.  How afraid that the walls were tumbling down out of control, and there was no way out of the pain.  Covering her wounds, especially in front of her daughter, must have driven her to the brink, until she simply could not do it another minute.  All I can say is, if you have never felt that despair, you cannot judge, because you simply do not understand.

And I am so sad for her family, as well.  It is not easy to live with mental illness, either for the sufferer, or their family and friends.  They are difficult to manage - you never have any idea what is under the external facade.  I am not surprised they didn't see it coming, and they should not feel guilty, although I imagine they do.  She showed what she wanted people to see, and you cannot see what is behind the wall of a person's mind.

Kate, I wish you could have seen the light I finally saw.  I wish you could have emerged from that dark place into the brightness of a life without a cloud hanging overhead.  I hope that through your loss, the subject of anxiety and depression will once again be exposed in the glare of the day and a few more people will come to grips with their own inner wounds.

And, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for helping to awaken within me the desire to live in the light.  You are not just a designer I never met and never knew.  You were an inspiration to live another day, and I am grateful.  Rest in peace, Kate.  You will never be forgotten by those who loved you, whether they knew you or not.

Freedom....

I haven't written anything for a few days.  Things have come up, and I just haven't had time to do justice to it, so I have passed.  It is wonderful to have the freedom to do as I choose, not just in this, but in everything.

I am fortunate to live in a country where we can talk about anything and everything.  While less complaining would be welcome, I am grateful that we can express our feelings without fear of retribution.  We endlessly discuss everything from the president, the congress and the rest of our government, to the weather, the cost of food or the price of cars. People chew over jobs, family, friends, restaurants, school.  We have endless choices, and its still not enough for some, while too much for others.

There are those in this world who would take that freedom away from us.  There are those who are threatened by dissent, who cannot tolerate an opinion that varies from their own.  There are too many who believe their way is the only way, and who would seek to prevent others from having a different opinion.

This freedom I cherish comes at a high price.  Many lives have been lost retaining that wonderful gift of freedom, and more have been damaged.  No matter what our persuasions, we should all recognize the sacrifice of those who have given everything for us.

John 15:13:

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.

In this chapter, we have been commanded to love one another, and in so doing, we will bear witness for God.  All who follow him bear witness to his love through our love for one another.  It is pretty simple, really.  The sacrifice of our life for another is no more than Jesus did for us.

Today I am grateful for the freedom that has been bought at such a great price.  There is no way to adequately acknowledge the gift I have been given, both in the life I lead, and the eternity I look forward to.

Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of freedom to worship you as I choose.  Thank you for the willingness of others to sacrifice everything for me.  I recognize the priceless opportunity I have been given.  Amen.

Perseverance....

Children are great teachers.  They require us to change, to grow, and to be flexible in dealing with their fickle behavior.  Every day is a different adventure, and we are not given a manual, so learning is done by trial and error.  Having children is transformative for most people.  You must adapt your ways to deal with them, because children are demanding by nature, and their self-centered vision of their world has to be gradually molded and formed so that they will be good people, citizens, stewards of this life.  There is no immediate gratification in child rearing - it's a process.  Rewarding, but definitely a process.

One of the things children teach us, just to put a positive spin on things, is perseverance.  There is nothing as dedicated as a child who wants something.  They badger and wheedle and relentlessly pursue us, hoping to eventually grind down the adult who is nominally in charge and get what they want.  It is not a random accident that they keep trying.  They do it because, all too often, it works, and they end up getting their way.  Their perseverance pays off.

God relentlessly pursues us, even more eagerly than a child pursues their momentary desire, because he created us, and he wants to be in our hearts and our lives.  He is dedicated to us, and continues to seek us out, to be available, to be present, so that all we need to do is reach out for him.  He is present, he is persistent, he is right there waiting for us to simply accept him.

In John 15: 16, we are told,

You did not choose me, but I chose you...

What humbling words those are.  We are often rejected in life, but in the most important relationship we can have, God chooses us.  How grateful I am that God perseveres.  My eternal salvation is based on his loving desire to have me, unworthy and all too often inadequate, in his presence.

Dear Lord, thank you for recklessly loving me, yesterday, today, tomorrow and through eternity.  It is the gift that passes all understanding.  Amen.

In the eye of the beholder...

When I lived elsewhere, I would come home to Minnesota each summer for a couple of weeks to visit my mom and spend time with family here.  During that time, I always made a point of seeing each one of my aunts and uncles, because I missed them, and wanted them to know they were loved and cared about.  Usually I took the kids, because I wanted the kids to know their relatives, but sometimes I wanted the time just for myself.

On one such occasion, we were about to go back to Kansas City, and I knew my uncle was getting very fragile, so I wanted to see him one more time before we left.  He was in the nursing home, suffering from Parkinson's, and was getting increasingly frail.  He needed assistance with almost everything, and his life must have mostly been one frustration after another, because he was a very independent person.

He was in the dining room when I arrived, and he had his modified spoon strapped on to his hand.  He was struggling to eat, and I wanted to help him, but knew that he wouldn't want me to.  We talked a little bit, and then he said something I will never forget.  He swept around the room with his arm, then he said, "Look around you.  This is what it means to get old.  Enjoy what you have now, because this is not living."

He was very unhappy at that moment, totally focused on the flaws and failings of the people in that room, especially his own.  He was seeing everything he couldn't do any longer, and he was angry about it.  But that wasn't what I was seeing when I looked at him.  I was focused on his heart, where nothing had changed.  He still loved me, just as he always had.  And I loved him just as he was, just as I always had, because he was still that person to me.

I think God is the same way.  We focus on the flaws and failures, both our own, and in others, obsessing over what is wrong and how we are unworthy.  But God focuses on our soul.  He is interested in our intentions.  If we love him, trust in him, and accept Jesus as our Savior, he is there.  Nothing more required.  No matter how great the flaws.

Everyone knows Johns 3:16.  It is one of the most famous verses in the Bible, and is familiar even to those who know no other verses.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

But that isn't actually the end of the thought.  It goes on to say something critical, which people often miss.  In verse 17, we are told,

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

God has loved us from the moment he created us.  He knows every weakness, but he still sent his only Son, his perfect beloved, to save our flawed selves, for no reason other than he purely loved us.  Instead of focusing on what we get wrong, I am grateful that God sees my heart and loves me in spite of my failing human nature.

Dear Lord, thank you for seeing my heart when it would be easier to see my actions.  Your love is incomprehensible, and I am grateful.  Amen.

Be still....

When I started writing these daily thoughts several years ago, it was a Lenten exercise designed to honor Christ for his sacrifice by remembering the many things for which I am grateful.  It is easy to focus on the negatives in life, but for most people, life is filled with good things, if only we stop to consider.  But some days I find writing harder than others.  Some days inspiration is missing.  Sometimes, I am just sort of blank.  Today was one of those days, and I couldn't come up with anything this morning that seemed worth putting into words.

I resigned myself to missing this day, and figured inspiration would come tomorrow.  But it dawned on me, while driving home from work, just how grateful I feel for the quiet stillness of my home, and how very much I look forward to it each evening after work.  The barking of the dog is the only noise, and that is soon stilled when I let him out of his kennel.  It is a haven from the world, my little castle, so to speak, and I am so grateful to be able to find the peace I crave each evening in the comfort of my dwelling.

I was thinking of Psalm 46:10 as I drove home from work tonight.

He said, "Be still and know that I am God...."

That is what God wants from us.  To simply be still and focus on him.  It is so little to ask, and yet so hard for us to do.  It is all too easy to get wrapped up in the stuff of daily living - making dinner, doing laundry, homework, television, exercising - whatever we do in our off hours.

But the most important thing we can do each day is take time for God.  Talk to him.  Throw our cares to him and allow him to carry the burden for us.  Finding our gratitude for everything that went right in the day, instead of holding on to what has gone wrong.  Putting God at the center of our life, instead of keeping him hanging around the fringes, for whenever we get around to him.

I am grateful for the stillness, which gives me an opportunity to talk to the one who has given me everything.  There is nowhere I would rather be.

Dear Lord, thank you for listening to the words of my heart in the midst of the silence each day.  Amen.

Boots...

There is a line of demarcation across the world, dividing those of us who live with winter for half the year, versus those who don't.  (I didn't say we're smart - I'm just reporting, here.)  In the warmer, sunnier climes, people don coats and even boots at the dip of the mercury like a man in the desert gasping for water - you can't wait to wear them because they are cute or trendy, but you don't, strictly speaking, really need them for survival.  Frankly, I find this bewildering.

Up here in the northland, boots are a practical, functional piece of footwear, required to slog through six or ten or 15 inches of white fluffy stuff without getting soaked to the skin or losing a foot to frostbite.  They are not a fashion statement, they are a necessity, and most people put off getting them out (along with the heavy winter coats that weigh more than our first child) until we simply cannot wait any longer, because we know we will be stuck wearing them for months.  You see photos of people in LA and Miami wearing Uggs and fur coats, and, at least if you are from north of the line, you have to wonder what the point is, really.  Because in our world, we can't wait to put them away, again.

It is now mid-March, so we still have a couple feet of snow on the ground, but I am tired of my boots.  Yesterday, for the first time in months, I pulled out my cute little shoes to wear.  They aren't warm and they aren't practical for a Minnesota March day, but wearing them made me feel better - a harbinger of spring, and warmer days to come.  If I am wearing actual shoes - can Easter be far off?   At which point summer (nirvana) is just around the corner, although Easter is early this year, which is always a disappointment.  But I digress.

What do boots have to do with anything?  After all, I am grateful for the practical footwear which keeps me warm and frostbite free.  I need them for many months of the year, and I am fortunate to have them.  Not everyone does, and I know I am lucky.

But when I am wearing them, I am longing for a different season, one which I enjoy much more.  I love the sun, and the heat and the smell of fresh cut grass.  I enjoy the fresh air after a thunderstorm, and the feel of a summer breeze on my skin.  I love wearing flip flops and shorts and T-shirts and needing air conditioning.  What I do not love is snow and cold.

But God tells us to take each day as it comes.  In Matthew 6:34 we read

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

While I am longing for the next season to arrive, I am not enjoying what this season has to offer.  This is true, not only of weather, but life generally.  We wish away the years we are given, waiting for the next season to arrive, thinking it will be better for one reason or another, without realizing the joys of the moment.  It is the human condition to be looking  over the fence and seeing the greener grass, and wanting it for ourselves without realizing there are a lot of weeds over there, too, if only we looked closely enough.

Today I am grateful for boots, which not only serve a practical purpose, but which remind me to slow down and enjoy the season I am in.  Tomorrow will come soon enough, with all that I look forward to, but today will be gone and never come again.

Dear Lord, thank you for the boots I wear, and the simple pleasures of this season.  I will try not to anticipate tomorrow, but instead, stop and enjoy this day you have given me.  Amen.

The off button....

We are in a world awash with information.  We know far too much about everyone else, and surprisingly little, sometimes, about those closest to us.  I do know want to know what Hollywood star is dating whom, whether they have had affairs or marital problems, or that their children are either successful or a mess.  I don't want to hear about the private lives of politicians, and I really don't want to know the intimate details of the British, Swedish or Norwegian royal families.

I believe in mystique.  I believe that we are better off not knowing everything about everyone.  I believe in personal privacy, not because I have something to hide, but because I simply don't think it's anyone else's business what toilet paper I buy or whether I use Verizon or AT&T.

Social media is here to stay.  Anyone who has deluded themselves into thinking the fad will pass has clearly not been paying attention.  It is difficult, in this day and age, to avoid it, because it is everywhere, and if you don't use it, you will be left behind.  But don't kid yourself.  These media sites do not exist for our benefit, whatever blather they may tout publicly about wanting to positively impact people's lives.  Quite simply, they exist to mine data about us, so that companies can throw ads at us to buy their products so they can make money off our personal details, which we agreed to provide for free in the fine print of every online transaction we have ever engaged in.

But there is this cool option called the off button, whereby you take control of your life and tune out for a little while.  I use it a lot.  I stop watching the news.  I quit worrying about what other people, whom I don't know, and whose lives only tangentially impact mine, are doing.  I read a book.  I do counted cross stitch.  I talk to my husband on the phone.  I FaceTime with my children and grandchildren.  I go out to dinner with my mom or my friends or relatives.  I shovel snow or mow the lawn or landscape or vacuum or engage in a hobby.  Real time, living life.

I love the ability to keep in touch provided by social media.  I enjoy seeing photos of my family and friends enjoying their lives.  Social media, in and of itself, isn't bad.  But I also enjoy tuning out of cyberspace, because the influence it holds over people's lives is scary sometimes.  Bullying, harassment, exposure, intimidation, fear - all are found on social media sites on a routine basis, and I find it overwhelming, at times.

In Psalm 37:7 we read,

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;  do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Today I am grateful for all the small ways I can tune into what is real in my life.  I will rest easy in the knowledge that God is present in this place, and he is in control of what happens.  Even as I post this on social media, run by Google, and data mining each word I publish, God can use those words he puts in my head for his purpose, and not theirs.  The off button is in my hands.

Dear Lord, thank you for the off buttons you have provided in my life.  The brief moments away from the intrusion of the world are the moments of rest I need to live life fully, and I am grateful for them.  Amen.

Ordinary people....

In the overall scheme of things, I am an unimportant person.  I am not a mover or a shaker like Steve Jobs.  I am not someone who will change the course of history, like Martin Luther.  I will never be known for my brains, like Einstein.  I won't be remembered for my passion, like Carrie Nation.  I am not a great singer, or writer or artist.  I am just an ordinary person.  And I am okay with that, because being me is enough.

Ordinary people do extraordinary things every single day.  They teach children who don't want to learn, day after day, and sometimes they change a life because of their persistence.  They answer police and medical calls in difficult situations, seeing things that can never be unseen, and still answer the next call, anyway.  They change a tire for a stranger in need.  They pay for groceries in the checkout line for someone who is a little short.  They hold a child who is lost, they take in a stray pet, they go to work, they pay their bills, they love their families.  They do their best, each and every day, and because of all the ordinary people, the world continues to lurch along, more or less stable for most of us.

When the news gets too overwhelming, I often stop and remind myself that it is the ordinary people in my life who are important.  They are the ones who influence my days, who bring joy to my heart, who make me smile or laugh or cry.  In short, they are the ones who matter, in the only way that really counts.

In 1 Corinthians 12:14 we are told,

Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

I recently have battled a series of medical issues, piled one on top of another.  It has been a strong reminder of how interconnected and dependent the body is upon each part to work.  My aching hip caused me to shift my walk, and suddenly my knee hurt, too.  My injured neck caused pain into my head and down my shoulders.  The prednisone I took for the inflammation caused by influenza caused me to have blurred vision for weeks.  Coughing injured my vocal chords, and for the first time in my life, I couldn't take for granted I would ever be able to sing again.  My entire body hurt from tip to toe, and it made me realize that every piece of me was tied to another piece.  It didn't matter whether the place that gave me trouble was visible or not, when one hurt, I simply hurt.

So, too, are people tied to each other.  There are people who are more visible, but they are just people.  Like us.  They may make more money.  They may have talents we can only dream of, or they may simply have been lucky in life.  They may have fame or infamy, but in God's eyes, they are of no greater or lesser value than we are.  In fact, without the ordinary people like us to buy their music or artwork or products or go to movies or sporting events or put money in their investment funds or work for them or pay our taxes, they would have nothing at all.

When one hurts, we all hurt.  That is the human condition.  And it is rarely the famous or wealthy or important people who come to our rescue when we are in need.  It is the ordinary, every day people that we count on to make life better, day after day after day.  I am in good company, and I am grateful for all those ordinary people, who together, make my world a better place.

Dear Lord, thank you for all the ordinary people in this world, who make life better for all of us.  Amen.

Indoor plumbing...

I have long been an admirer of those hearty adventurers who set out from the already difficult, (by our standards,) life in the more settled areas of the country to venture into the wilds of the trails leading west.  Many of them were quite naive about the realities, thinking it would be a simple thing to cross prairies filled with overgrown grasses, not understanding how the lack of trees and water would impact their health and the progress of their journey.  Illness was rampant, and there were no modern medical facilities, filled with antibiotics and intensive care to bring them back to life when they were mortally wounded or ill.  And even if they survived the health woes, there was the danger of wildlife and the current inhabitants to threaten their security.  No running water?  No indoor toilets?  No morning shower?

I couldn't have done it.  If I had tried, I would have died before I was an hour out on the trail, no doubt.  I am not hearty.  I get sick at the whiff of a germ.  I am clumsy and fall.  And frankly, I am not all that brave, either.  What is that old saying?  The coward dies a million deaths, the brave die but once?  Ya.  I am one of life's cowards.  And I will admit it - I like indoor plumbing.  I would have been toast.

Except that I have the assurance of my Savior that he is always with me.  In Deuteronomy 31:6, we take comfort from these words:

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

These words, spoken after the Israelites had wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, were a welcome assurance that God had a plan, and they were part of it.

Even though I don't face the tribulations of the long ago pioneers, I do face my own trials each day.  We have to deal with things they never dreamed of, and our modern life would  perhaps cause them as much worry, in its own way, as their more rudimentary existence would cause us.  But the promise remains for all of us, whatever our life circumstances.  God is with us.  Yesterday.  Today.  Tomorrow.  Unfailing.  Forever.

Dear Lord, I am filled with gratitude that no matter where I am or what I am doing, I can call on you at any time, and you are right there.  No one, and nothing, will ever take away the comfort of your healing presence, and for that, I give thanks.  It fills me with courage to know you are with me, and your plan is perfect.  Amen.

Imperfection....

This morning, I awoke to the sad news that the child of a friend of a friend had passed away.  Her parents have taken a very public journey since before the she was born, one which the family shared through a blog and on facebook over the past few years.  I started following their life story originally because my friend would post updates, and I was praying for the family as they came to grips with the overwhelming situation they faced.  I have continued following over the years because their faith has inspired me and touched my heart so deeply.

Annalise was not expected to live more than a few minutes, and instead she lived for three years.  She had many medical problems, and her life, and that of her family, was difficult in a way that few of us will ever understand.  Her parents have the strongest faith and grit and determination; I can barely comprehend what they have been through.  What a sacrifice, and what a gift they have shared with everyone who has followed their story.

The thing that I find most inspiring about them is how they viewed the possibilities.  When told their child had no chance, they looked at the time they could have and planned it as positively as possible.  When minutes turned to hours, which turned to days and then weeks and months, they pushed the doctors for therapy to improve the quality of their child's life for whatever time they had her.  It was never about what she couldn't do, but rather, helping her maximize her time on this earth to do whatever she could, for however long they had her.

The glass has always been half full for them, even to these last couple of days, when they slowly realized they were going to lose her.

They have inspired thousands of people with their faith and courage in the face of the hardest battle life gives us, watching our child suffer.  It is impossible to know how many people have found their faith through the story of this family, and how many lives have been changed because of their courage.  They have been steadfast, and dedicated to the God who created their child, just as she is.

I take comfort from Psalm 139:14 this morning.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

When a baby is born, we want worldly perfection.  But God is unlimited, and his plan is perfect, even though we are not and never can be.  We may not understand the purpose, but some how, some way, even the imperfections are part of his plan.

Today I am grateful for the imperfections which revealed the faith and courage of people I admire and respect so much.  It is easy to be faithful when everything is going well.  But it is a true testament to remain faithful when life is challenging.  I am grateful for those who show us the way.

Dear Lord, thank you for the imperfections which reveal your perfect plan for our lives.  Please comfort those who are mourning this day, and bring them the peace that can be found only in you.  May all who are weary find hope in your loving presence.   Amen.

The Right Thing....

I have read surveys where people are asked the question,

"If you knew for certain you could get away with it, would you..." 

and then a list of options is named.  Whether it is stealing, murder, having an affair, or something less drastic, my answer will always be no, because I am not driven by what others think, but rather, by doing what is right.

When my children were young, and I caught them in wrong doing, I would always give them the same advice - it doesn't matter whether anyone else knows about your wrong doing, you know.  Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and it doesn't matter how many people know.  Do the right thing.  It's easier and better for everyone in the long run, especially you, because you will have peace of mind.

I have tried to live my life that way, although I am imperfect, and have certainly failed. But even when no one has ever found out about the failure, I knew, and that was one person too many for me.  Living with the knowledge that you willfully did the wrong thing eats away at the heart and soul, making life less than it should be.  That is why people confess to crimes, even years later.  The knowledge eats away at them until they would rather face the consequences than continue to have that emptiness of spirit that the cover up creates.

In Deuteronomy 6:18 we are told,

Do what is right and good in the Lord’s sight, so that it may go well with you....

I take those words to heart.  It is not always easy.  Whatever the situation, doing the right thing often takes courage and faith that, in the end, right is right, no matter the short term consequences to one's own life.  A person who knows right from wrong, and acts on that knowledge, is a person you can trust and admire because you know they are acting from conviction, and not just because they are afraid to get caught.

Today, I am grateful for those who do the right thing.  The example they set is a beacon of hope in a weary world.

Dear Lord, Thank you for those who set an example of doing the right thing.  Even in hard times, the satisfaction of knowing you have done your best gives peace to the soul.  Amen.

Money...

One of the most misunderstood quotes from the Bible is, without a doubt, 1 Timothy 6:10,

For the LOVE of money is the root of all kinds of evil.  Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

People often go wrong on several fronts when trying to unpack what is being said in this verse.  We take it out of context.  We leave words out.  We twist it to say something it doesn't, because that fits our own narrative.  In order to understand this verse, we need the entire verse, all the words, and not cherry pick for our own purposes.

Nowhere in this verse does it say that money itself is evil.  Neither does it say being wealthy is bad. Paul was never one to mince words, and if that is what he had meant, he wouldn't have hesitated to say it.  Paul had lived a life of wealth, and saw the pitfalls he was warning against.  He understood there is no inherent virtue in being poor, and it is quite possible to do the right thing, even if you are rich.  It isn't about quantity of money, it's about the quality of how you use it that matters.  Taken in context, this verse is a lesson about the motives of false leaders, and the troubles we get ourselves into when we worship at the foot of someone temporal and transient, instead of the God of all eternity.

Jesus had followers from many walks of life.  He was an itinerant teacher, wandering from town to town to spread his message, and I am sure he had need for money to pay for food, some transportation and other items needed by those dedicated to his ministry.  In Luke 8:1-3, we are told that Jesus was supported by a number of women out of their own means, and we know from other passages that he had a few followers who came from wealthy backgrounds.  His disciples came from a variety of backgrounds, as well, and it's not hard to imagine that they, or their families, may have provided support along the way, too.

Paul was telling us in this passage that money is a tool, much like any other tool.  It can provide for needs, and it can assist us in reaching a goal.  But when the money itself becomes the object of our desire, that is where we run into trouble, because we shift our focus from what we are trying to build together to what we can acquire for ourselves.  We to me.  There was no me in the teaching of Jesus.  He lived his life, and died a horrible death, in the service of others.  That is our example, and how he expects us to live our lives.

We all need money to live, especially in this day and time.  We can no longer eek out a subsistence living, growing our own food and living in a cave or a tent or log cabin in isolation.  The world is simply too interconnected, and we are too dependent to go backwards now.  God doesn't criticize us for working hard, for supporting our families, for planning for retirement, for taking a vacation, for doing anything that money allows us to do.  But he also wants us to use our money for the right purposes, to put it into the proper perspective, to stay focused on the power of the cross and not the dollars we put in the bank.

I am grateful for the money we have to live a decent life.  I am thankful each time I pay a bill, buy food or care for my health that I can afford to do so.  God has provided for my needs in many ways, and money is just one of them.  It is up to me to use this tool in a way that glorifies the God who gave me everything I have.

Dear Lord, thank you for providing us with the money to support our lives and pay for the things we need.  I will keep sight of the real gift as I journey to the cross, and keep money in the right perspective.  Amen.

Hot dish....

Minnesota people are, by and large, rather reserved.  It's not that we don't feel as deeply as more obviously emotional people.  We do.  We are just more reluctant to wear our hearts on our sleeves.  It goes against the Scandinavian culture which pervades this part of the northland, and it is just not something that many Minnesotans are comfortable with.  But while most Minnesotans will not smother you with physical affection, their love comes out in other ways.  Mostly food.  The official love language of Minnesota, I have decided, is food.

I grew up in a rural area, where the norm was breakfast, A Little Lunch, dinner, A Little Lunch, and supper, followed by some ice cream or cookies or both as a bedtime snack.  We are the original foodies, with some coffee and dessert to finish up every meal.  It's a wonder we are ranked one of the healthiest states in the country, because we don't starve here.  (Lutefisk might also have something to do with that, but that's another blog post, and whether you love it or hate it, we won't get into that here.)

I had a dearly loved aunt (how I miss her) who didn't even let you get out of the car in front of the house without pulling treats out of thin air so she would be ready to feed you the instant you got in the door.  She was legendary for it, and for her generous hospitality.  I don't miss the food, I miss the love that went into making it, and the love she showed in sharing her delicacies.

My mother's best friend would learn you were coming, and she would whip up a little "nothing special" to be sure she had something to feed you when you arrived, even if it was just a five minute run by.  I ate many a treat sitting at her kitchen table while she hovered anxiously, waiting to hear the praise she knew would be coming.  Helen's "I love you" was to serve you delicious food, and she rarely failed in her offerings.

Food figured prominently in the life of Jesus.  If you read through the gospels, you will see many of the stories revolve around meal time, or eating.  Whether it was the wedding at Cana, the feeding of the 5000, or the Last Supper, food is important in the ministry of Jesus.  He was human, and he had to eat.  But in addition, he showed his love for others by the way he shared that time with all and sundry.  The social structure of acceptable society precluded eating with those of a lower class, a tradition Jesus broke with regularity.  Food was a love language for him, I think, and Jesus used it to break the ice as much as for breaking bread.

In Ecclesiastes 2:24 we read,

A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil.  This too, I see, is from the hand of God....

My favorite food is hot dish, I think.  There is something so warm and comforting about hot dish.  (In other parts of the country, they use the fancy term casserole, but I will stick with hot dish, because that is precisely what it is.)  It is a steaming hot combination of ingredients which, when baked for an hour and sprinkled with crushed corn flakes or bread crumbs on top to dress it up, sits in your tummy and warms you from the inside out.  Nothing says love like a hot dish, and we have an endless variety to choose from.

Best of all, hot dish can be made in advance.  Some of them are quite putzy, requiring a lot of time and work to put together.  But when the guests come, the food is already in the oven, bubbling and baking, giving you nothing more to do than pull it out and set it on the table when it's done, so you can spend your time with your guests.  It is the perfect dinner food, providing nourishment for both body and mind at the same time!

Today I am grateful for hot dish, because in good times and bad times, it is one way I know I am loved and cared for.  Just as Jesus valued his meal times with his friends, I too value the time I spend over a meal with those I love.  We feed the soul through the Word of God, but Jesus understood, on a human level, the importance of feeding the body, as well, and showed us how he valued that time throughout his life.

Dear Lord, thank you for the food that sustains us each day.  I am grateful that you worry about our bodies as well as our minds and souls, and provide for us in every way.  Amen.

Old clothes....

When I was a little girl, the first thing I had to do, every time I came home from anywhere, was to change out of the "good" clothes I was wearing, and put on my old clothes.  It was annoying, this interruption in my plans, and I had no appreciation for the reasons my mother insisted on doing this.

But I have... matured.  The older I get, the happier I am to come home and wrap myself up in my old clothes.  They are not the most elegant or prettiest clothing I own.  But they are warm and comfortable, even if they are a little frayed around the edges.  Sort of like me, maybe.

Aging is a sobering fact of life.  My joints ache more, I have a harder time getting over minor illnesses, my kids have started to worry about me a little because I get kind of flaky sometimes.  I can't multi-task like I did ten years ago, and working all day long wears me out in a way that I wouldn't have imagined when I was 40.

The old clothes welcome me home like an old friend, enveloping me in their thread worn coziness.  Dropping the work clothes into the laundry hamper tells me I am finally ready for a few hours of rest and relaxation before I start all over again.  

We all need rest.  We all need peace and comfort and a place to relax.  The long day makes us weary, and it is good to put our feet up and pamper our body, and our soul, for a little while.

I see God like my old clothes.  He is there, waiting for me, when I am weary and world worn, longing to cast off my troubles on him.  In Matthew 11:28, we read,

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

What a joyful promise this is, from a God who understands our daily routine and the responsibilities we carry.  He is promising an oasis of peace and comfort and safety in the storms of life.  How lucky I am to have a personal God who wants my burdens and soothes my sorrows.

Today I am grateful for my old clothes, and the reminder of God's loving embrace.

Dear Lord, thank you for my old clothes, and your grace which is fresh and new every day.  Amen.

Win/Win...

I don't remember a time in my life when music was not a part of my daily routine.  I started tickling the ivory keys of our old upright piano before I even went to kindergarten, and my mother, determined that I would learn to play "properly" and not all haphazard, started me on lessons.

I loved to play piano.  I had lots of books and sheet music, and played and sang for hours after school and on weekends.  What I did not love, however, was the practicing for lessons that I was required to do.  Books of scales, books of classical music, books that were designed to teach me skills I didn't understand the need for - it bored me, and I was a reluctant pupil, at best.

I also had chores to do around the house, one of which was wiping the dishes after Mom had washed them.  It was an annoying task - not difficult, but tedious, and I would rather have been reading a book or doing almost anything else.  Mom saw an opportunity, and took it, not realizing she was giving me a life lesson in negotiation I have never forgotten.

She made a deal with me.  She would wash and dry the dishes after supper if I would practice my piano lesson while she was working.  It was an easy deal to make - I would rather play piano than dry dishes, and I grabbed it, thinking I won and she lost.

What I didn't realize until later was that my mother, who also loves music, was winning, too.  She didn't mind drying the dishes - that was the easy part of the process, after all!  And she liked to hear me play, so she enjoyed the musical accompaniment to her work.  It was a win/win situation for both of us, and worked well for several years.  It was a great lesson in compromise, and taught me that it is possible for everyone to win, if you are creative in your solution.

She could have forced me to practice - she was the mom, after all, and there was never any doubt in either of our minds who was really in charge in our household.  But she was a crafty one, and found a way to make it pleasant for us both, allowing me to feel like I had some control over my life in a time when a lot of things felt beyond my control.

Sometimes there are winners and there are losers, and it cannot be avoided.  But often, if you work at it, everyone can get something they want, and everyone is the better for it.

Proverbs 15:1 says,

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Mom knew that by forcing me to practice, she would take the joy out of playing for me, and too soon, I would quit and never do it again.  By gently giving me a choice (which she knew I would take) she ensured that the practicing got done in a way that would encourage, rather than discourage, my future musical endeavors.

I still play, almost every day.  I can spend hours at the piano, playing everything from contemporary songs to complex classical pieces, and it is all due to her.  Sometimes everybody really does win.  I am grateful for the wise mother who taught me early to look for simple compromises that make life better for everyone.

Dear Lord, thank you for my mother's wisdom.  Her gentle answers constantly soften hard situations, and show me the way to a better outcome.  Amen.

Coffee...

I am a coffee lover.  A day when I cannot awaken to a freshly brewed cup of elixir from my Keurig, (one of the most amazing developments of the 20th century,) is not a good day for me.  I can get through a day without a shower, if absolutely necessary.  I can skip meals and struggle through all sorts of tribulations when I have to, usually without too much fuss.  But a day without coffee?  Unthinkable.

I wonder who was the first person to look at a coffee bean and think, "I believe I will put this into hot water and see what happens."  I wonder if they got the caffeine buzz I get, or if it was more of a trial and error deal, messing around until they found the perfect combination of water and coffee beans so they could get the perfect morning start.  Whatever it was, I sure am glad they had the foresight to give it a shot.

I start each day with my cup of coffee (or two) and my morning devotion, then I pray over the people who are on my heart.  I lift up each name with praise and thanksgiving, and then ask for whatever is needed on that day.  It is a perfect way to feel God's love wash over me, and pass it on to those I care about.

Psalm 143:8 says,

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life."  (NIV)

God has asked us to trust him for everything we need, both large and small.  I am grateful for his unfailing presence in my life.  He is the friend who never lets me down, and he is always there to hear my prayers.  Whether it is meeting the needs of my loved ones, trusting him to heal a child I am praying over, making decisions about life big and small, or a simple cup of coffee, turning to God in all things brings contentment to my soul.

Dear Lord, thank you for the simple cup of coffee with which I begin each day.  It is a reminder that you provide everything we need, large and small, and I can always count on your mercy.  Amen.

Old slippers...

The best moment of each day is coming home and putting on my old slippers.  It is peaceful and quiet in the house, and the stress and cares of life are shed along with the work clothes and the contact lenses.  I settle into my spot on the sofa, sometimes start a fire in the fireplace, and truly relax for a couple of hours before I head to bed.  My home is my sanctuary, and I love to be at home.

My old slippers are not a thing of beauty.  They are serviceable, they are warm and comfortable, but they have had a hard life.  They have been through the wash and spun around a few times, and they are misshapen and no longer fluffy.  Sort of like me, really.

I am grateful for the slippers, and I am grateful to be here still, a grandmother, mother, wife and daughter.  Some people don't get the luxury of knowing old age.  They don't get to settle into their body and the more quiet life of maturing years.  It is a tragedy to lose a life that is not fully lived, and that could have, should have, been me.  If not for the miracle of modern medicine, I would have been gone several times over, a distant memory in the minds of those who love me.

In Psalm 91:16 God speaks to us,

"With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."

This is not a promise that we will wake up tomorrow on this mortal plane.  It is, instead, a promise that God will always be there with his eternal grace, if only we trust in him and put ourselves in his hands.

Dear Lord, thank you for the comfort of my old slippers, and for the life I live today.  I am filled with gratitude that I have the opportunity to wake up each morning, and enjoy my quiet life.  Amen.

Printer's Ink....

Life is a bumpy road.  When you are up, and everything is going well, it is easy to become complacent, arrogant even, about your own skills and abilities.  But when you are laid low by one of life's trials, then you search for support and sustenance, and sometimes the comfort of friends or even family are just not enough.

It is only in the last century or two that everyone was afforded the right to read.  Even with the advent of the movable type printing press in the late 1400's, most people still didn't bother.  Reading was only for the wealthy and educated, those who had all of life's advantages already, because only they had the time to spend sitting and doing nothing more than reading.  It is hard to take the time for something as inefficient as reading when your entire life is caught up in simply trying to survive, and you must work dawn to dusk on eeking out a subsistence living.

It is almost magical, the way the world opens up when you can read.  It brings other places to you, and brings you out of your small realm of knowledge, so that you have a whole new understanding.  The printing press changed the world completely, because it put the power of knowledge into the hands of the many, instead of the elite few.  Slowly, words disseminated from the monasteries into the hands of everyday people, and it encouraged them to think beyond the narrow confines of their lives and dream about the possibilities.  Once that happened, things could never be the same again.

Reading allows me to sit in the comfort of my living room and still know the far away places where I would love to travel.   I have knowledge that I otherwise would not be able to access; when I have a question, the answer is at my finger tips, because I can read.

Most importantly, when I want to know about God, I can go to the source and read for myself what God has said in his own words, especially through the life of Jesus, the living Word.  The comfort I seek is to be found in The Word, and it is there for me whenever I want it.

John 1:1

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  (NIV)

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to read God's word, to be able to see the words and interpret them for myself, and to come to an understanding of God's purpose for my life based on my own knowledge through The Word. I start each day in peaceful repose with God through his Word, and it brings me confidence to face the trials and tribulations of life in a way nothing else can.

Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of reading.  It brings me closer to you, and to an understanding of my own life.  It has opened up your creation to me, so that I may better understand you, and it is with thanksgiving that I read your words each morning.  Amen.

Daytime....

Every single day the sun comes up in the morning.  We don't think about it.  We don't pray for it to happen.  We don't hold our breath and worry.  We know, absolutely, that each day the light will come.  It may be cloudy, it may be overcast, or it may be clear skies, but whatever is going on in our atmosphere, we will see daylight.

Recently, I have been getting up earlier in the morning, and I see more sunrises.  It is not a random event. The timing is so exact, we can schedule our lives by it.  There is a moment each day when I can look to the east, and the sky is bright, but if I look to the west, darkness still reigns.  That reminds me of life.  We can either look to the light, or pursue the darkness.  God has left the choice to us, but our answer determines how we spend eternity.

In John 8:12, Jesus said,
"I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

Night brings rest and comfort and healing to the body.  But darkness of the soul brings none of those things.  Today I am grateful for the sunrise, just as predicted, every day of my life.  It is part of God's perfect plan, renewing and refreshing, just as he renews and refreshes us.

Dear Lord, thank you for the sunrise each day.  It brings hope and opportunity and a reminder that you have a plan that surpasses anything I can do.  Amen.

Hello....

Everyone has their own idea of the modern advancement they simply cannot imagine living without.  Society moves at a fast pace, and there have been many important inventions which have made our lives better in the last 100 years.  But for me, despite my love/hate relationship with it, the one thing I wouldn't want to live without is the cell phone.

I could live without the camera, the internet access, the fancy features.  I would be perfectly happy to choose between texting or calling.  But the miracle of being able to contact loved ones in the middle of a boring ten hour drive, when I am tired and need a boost, is incalculable.  A parent being able to contact their inexperienced driver, being able to communicate with a husband who spends his life on the road, being able to reach mom or dad wherever you are when you need help, solving a crisis at work while on vacation - those things are priceless.

Not being tied to a cord or a phone hanging on the wall has completely changed the world.  There are downsides, of course.  People cannot disconnect, and it makes it all too easy to have conversations that should not be had.  Technology is a tool, and like all tools, there are dangers in misusing it.  But I think the benefits outweigh the risks by a wide margin.  I marvel at the ability to communicate any time, any where, each time I send a text or make a call.  It is, in short, still a miracle to me, and I am grateful for the opportunity to live in a time that makes communicating with distant loved ones so easy.

In Genesis 11:6 it says,

"The Lord said, "If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them."

The people became arrogant in their knowledge, and the Lord scattered and confused them.  That is the danger of such powerful technology - that we forget the wisdom and knowledge come from God, and without him, we use it for ill purposes.  But used properly, and with appropriate respect for others, it is a very positive development.

Dear Lord, today I am grateful I can carry the tool of immediate communication in my back pocket.  It has changed the world, and my life.  The skill and knowledge came from you, and it has provided me with comfort and peace countless times through this modern advancement.  Amen.

Smiles...

I was sick, tired and crabby.  It had been a long day, and I didn't want to be standing in line at the checkout.  All I wanted was to go home and crawl under the blankets and feel sorry for myself.  I was frowning, and probably looking as miserable as I felt.  I wanted a pity party, and I wasn't going to be denied.

That is when I saw the transforming smile of the checkout person.  It wasn't a huge gesture.  It wasn't one of those life changing events.  It was a simple smile, genuinely directed at me.  She saw I was having A Day, she commiserated with me, and she smiled from her eyes, because she understood.  Which caused me to smile in return, and changed my entire day.

Sometimes, all it takes to turn your day around is a simple act of kindness on the part of another.  It doesn't have to be the grand gesture to make a difference for someone else, as fun as that can be.  Sometimes, a simple smile is enough.  It is a good lesson to remember when we encounter someone who is out of sorts.

In Proverbs 15:1 we read,

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

How true those words are.

Today I am grateful for the random smiles that get thrown my way.  They give me peace, comfort and uplift as I make my way through this often confusing and overwhelming life.

Dear Lord.  Thank you for giving us the ability to smile.  It enhances the lives of everyone involved, and changes us for the better each time we see one.  Amen.

Time....

We all look forward to special time spent on vacation or doing special things.  It is fun to do something different, and those moments are important.  But there is also joy in the everyday, ordinary things of life, when we step away from the pressures of the world and simply relax and do what we love in the comfort of our own space.

There is pleasure in the simple things of life.  Sewing, scrapbooking, working on cars or woodworking, cooking, cleaning, whatever you enjoy and find relaxing is a simple pleasure.  And there is nothing more satisfying than completing a long awaited project, no matter how mundane it may seem to others.

The last few days, I have spent time with my daughter and grandsons while daddy is away working.  We haven't done anything extraordinary, or even different from a regular day in their lives, save for my being here to do it with them.  I have spent the days playing with the little ones, giving my daughter some help for cooking, running to the grocery store and making a quick trip to the toy store.  Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing extra special.  And yet, these very ordinary days are the most special time I can have, because I am building a bond with the loves of my aging heart, seeing them living their lives in real time, as they are, for better and for worse.

I am grateful for this time together.  I know that they are too little to remember much about it, but it is special to me to have this time with them, and my memories will uplift me when I am back home and away from them again.

God understood how important grandchildren are.  In Proverbs 17:6 we read,

"Grandchildren are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children."

The legacy I leave in this world is found in my children and their children.  There is nothing more important in the simple life I lead.

Dear Lord.  Thank you for my grandchildren, and the ordinary, every day time I am having with them.  They are a blessing of my heart.  Amen.

Eyes....

Recently, my eyesight has been challenging due to the side effect of a drug I had to take.  It is frustrating to suddenly not see what I have always been able to see, and a little scary.  We only have one set of eyes, they are irreplaceable, and yet, we take them for granted until they don't work the way we expect.  Only then do we stop to think what a blessing our eyes can be.

When you spend time with a child, you see everything in a whole new way.  The jaded view of adulthood falls away, and once again, you get a fresh look at the world.  It is not the world which has changed, it is you who are seeing things from a different perspective.  It is easy to dismiss the child's view - they are inexperienced, and often misunderstand what is going on around them.  But sometimes, through their eyes, we see more clearly, because we make things more complicated, when really, it is simple.

In Nehemiah 1:6a we read,

"Please let your ear be attentive and your eyes open, that you may hear the prayer of your servant which I pray before you now, day and night..."

When you spend time with a child, pay attention to what they see, and look at the world through their eyes.  God's world is new every day, and fresh opportunity is always right there.

Today I am grateful for the opportunity of new eyes.  While the old ones fail me at times, the new vision I have is eternal, and unfailing.

Dear Lord.  Thank you for my eyes, that I may see your way more clearly.  I pray that my vision is always set on your path.  Amen.

Sliding Doors....

Quite a few years ago, I saw a movie by the name of "Sliding Doors."  It was an interesting concept; a few moments of time changes your personal history, for better or worse.  The name came from the two parallel story lines -  each outcome dependent on whether or not the main character got into a train before the doors slid closed.  I have been thinking about that, and what a blessing those few moments in time can be.

I had a long drive the other day, and I was a little slower to get going that I intended.  The weather was terrible, and I drove in tough conditions for several hours before I finally started to get out of it.  On the very edge of real improvement, the pavement wet but no longer icy, I got stuck in the worst traffic hold up I have ever been in.  Because of an accident just down the road, I sat in one place on the freeway for well over an hour before we all started moving, diverted off the freeway and onto a county road to go around the mess just ahead.

I was annoyed and frustrated by the long delay, anxious to reach my destination still many hours down the road.  I knew the accident must have been serious, and I felt sorry for the people involved, especially if there were fatalities.  But I didn't understand why they couldn't at least let one lane of traffic by, so the thousands of people who were being held up could at least get going.

It wasn't until many hours later that I learned the delay was caused by a 70 car pileup just beyond where I gotten stopped, due to the icy road conditions.  When I heard how serious the accident was, and realized it happened just before I got there, I recognized how fortunate I was that I hadn't left earlier, and that I was not the one in the middle of the mess.

Sliding Doors indeed.  It could have been me.  I could have been the one who no longer had a car to carry me safely to my destination, many hours down the road.  Instead of inconvenience, which didn't change my life in any way, I could have been stranded many hours from home and having to cope with the aftermath of a serious accident, perhaps even injuries.

We don't usually have the opportunity to see the impact of those Sliding Door moments on our lives.  We don't know how life may be different, if only things had gone the other way.  We may not even realize we've had a Sliding Door moment at all, because we have gone on, blissfully unaware of how close we came to a different outcome.  It is sobering to think about how life could change in an instant, if things had gone differently.

God allowed harm to come to some that day, while thousands more were kept safe.  We don't understand the reasons why, whether we are the lucky one or the unfortunate.  But God's plan is perfect, and he knows why each person was placed as they were.

I am reminded of Ephesians 3:20.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us...."

God's power is eternal, and his plan encompasses the bigger picture.  Our temporal vision is insufficient for complete understanding.  What doesn't make sense to us here and now may be only a small part of his larger plan, if only we understood.

Today I am grateful for the Sliding Door moment I experienced.  It is too easy to take life for granted, thinking we have control over our universe. The reminder that the world is big and random, while I am small and not in charge, is valuable and needed every now and then.

Dear Lord, thank you for allowing me to remain safe on that long drive, and for granting me the blessing of arriving at my destination while others did not.  I don't understand the reasons why, but you do, and that is sufficient for me today.  Amen.

Disappointment...

Every life is rife with unfulfilled expectations.  It is hard to accept disappointment, especially in big things.  When we fail to get that job, buy that house, get that date - it hurts.  But the biggest disappointment of all is when someone we thought we knew well, someone we counted on to have our best interests at heart, lets us down.  Failed marriages, broken friendships, cracked family relationships - all bring a unique suffering into our hearts.  Each person, no matter their status, is subject to the whims of others, and will feel the pain of heartbreak and rejection.  It is part of the human experience, and no one escapes the sting.

Research has shown a heart can actually be broken, damaged by the stress of a failed relationship.  I believe it.  My heart has hurt so badly that I couldn't breathe at times.  Betrayal attacks all the emotions at once, leaving a devastation that is hard to overcome.  The closer you are to someone, the deeper the cut when they let you down.

But God has his plan, and sometimes, the lessons we learn in the midst of great pain are the ones we need to move forward in our lives.  It is too easy to float along, unquestioning, even when we know we should do something different.  Sometimes it takes a great disappointment to force us to do what we should have done already.

I have often said I find God at the end of my rope.  When I feel like I am hanging on by my fingernails, God is there to lift me up into something better, if I hold on tight and patiently wait.  Without the disappointment forcing a change, I may not have had the courage to find that new path, and would have missed out on some of the best things that have happened in my life.

One of my favorite Bible verses is Jeremiah 29:11.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."

Today I am grateful for the lessons of disappointment.  The promise that there is a bigger plan, something better on the horizon, if we have faith and allow God to work his will in our life, has never failed me.

Dear Lord, thank you for allowing the disappointments of my life to show me my need to depend on you alone.  Amen.

Accidental lessons....

The day I got my driver's license, my mother graciously allowed me to take my first drive alone, but with strict instructions to be home in half an hour.  I was so very excited to take my first drive alone, but I am sure my mother was as nervous as I was enthusiastic as I pulled out of the driveway and went on my way.  I didn't have anywhere in particular to go, it was purely the joy of the freedom that I was savoring.

As is so often the case in life, things did not go according to plan.   I lost track of time, meandering along the country roads, and before I knew it, I was going to be late.  There were no cell phones back then, and no way to let her know what was going on.  I knew she would worry, and I panicked, because I didn't want to mess up on the first time she trusted me with her car on my own.  In my inexperience, I drove way too fast on a freshly graded gravel road.  I was fortunate to end up in the ditch on the left side of the road, rather than the ravine on the right side, or this story may never have been written.

As it happened, the field I ended up driving through to get out of my predicament belonged to the father of one of my closest friends.  I drove up to their home, and used their phone to call my mother and tell her where I was and that I would be a few minutes late.  I spent a few minutes collecting myself, dug the dirt out of the tailpipe, and continued on my way home at a safe speed.

When I walked in the door, my mother took one look at my face and said, "Are you all right?" Then she came rushing over to hug me.  (For those who know my mom, she is not exactly one to wear her heart on her sleeve, so this was unusual for her!)  She knew, just by seeing my face, that something had gone wrong.  But even though I was standing in front of her, obviously okay enough to get back home again, she didn't even think about the car, or whether or not her valuable possession had been damaged.  The only thing she cared about in that moment was me and my well being.  It was a life lesson, and a gift, I have never forgotten.

That accident turned out to be the best driving lesson I ever had.  It taught me on day one how quickly things go wrong, and how easy it is to make mistakes that could be deadly.  I have never been arrogant behind the wheel again, because I know, from my own experience, that I could have been the casualty instead of the rows of corn I had to drive over to get out of that predicament.

But even more importantly, I learned a lesson about grace that day which I have never forgotten.  My mother could easily have yelled at me when I walked through the door an hour late.  She could have chastised me for driving irresponsibly.  She could have complained about the cost to repair the tail pipe I wrecked, and she could have made me pay for it myself.  She could have grounded me, or not trusted me to drive on my own again.  I would have deserved any or all of it, and I knew it.

But she didn't do any of those things.  She simply hugged me and told me how glad she was I was safe, and the next time we had to go somewhere, she made me drive, so I wouldn't be afraid to get behind the wheel again.  She understood that I had already learned the lesson, and nothing she could say would bring it home more than the grace she offered me that day.  I didn't earn it.  I didn't deserve it.  But she loved me more than the car.  I was all that mattered to her.

God's grace is unearned.  There is nothing I can do to be worthy.  God extended his grace to me, not because I deserve it, but simply because he loves me more than anything.  It is just that simple.

2 Corinthians 12:9  "My grace is sufficent for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Dear Lord, thank you for small accidents which teach big lessons.  I am grateful for everything that happened that long ago day, because it taught me true grace.  Amen.

Quilts....

Quilts are special in my life.  As a child, I climbed into a quilt covered bed each night, and its heaviness comforted me, even as it warmed my cold hands and feet.  I felt safe under the old quilt, protected from the scary shadows which haunted my room at night.  It was, in a very real sense, the armor I put on each night when I went to bed, and the presence of the quilt maker brought me peace as I drifted off to sleep.

As an adult, I have a quilt rack hanging in my living room.  The quilts which hang on that rack are functional, of course, and we use them all the time to warm ourselves on a cold night.  But just the sight of them hanging there is reminder of the love that went into making each one, and a reminder of how much we are loved by those who spent the time to do that.  My sister-in-law, my mother-in-law, my mother... all have made special quilts just for us.  They warm the body, and they bring comfort to the soul when we are weary.

I feel the love of God through those whom he has sent into my life, and who gift me with their time and talents.  The gift of the quilt makers continues to be an armor against the cares of the world which would weigh me down.  The quilts remind me that God has provided loving family to sustain me in my life and faith, a shield against the arrows which Satan would fling my way.

Ephesians 6:13 says, "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."

Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of quilts.  They provide warmth and comfort for my body, and more importantly, are a tangible reminder that I am covered in love.  Thank you for the quilt makers who show me your love in their handiwork.  I am grateful for them, and for their gift they have shared with me.  Amen.

Words...

I begin every day with a short devotional, and pray over those who are on my heart.  As I read the words of others, it brings new perspective and direction to my own faith.  It is easy for me to become myopic, lost in my own thoughts.  By reading what others have written, it brings out new ideas, causes me to consider my own faith in a new way, and brings an awareness that there are always alternatives to my own way of thinking.  Faith is filled with challenges, and it is always good to see that I am not alone in the struggle.

Today, I am grateful for other people's words.  Words are small, fleeting, impermanent.  But the right words, well chosen, leave a lasting impact on my faith.

Proverbs 16:24  "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

Lord, thank you for the gift of other people's words.  Allow their perspective to fill my heart with new ways of seeking you in my own faith life.  Amen.

The side of the mountain....

It is Ash Wednesday, and once again, I am turning my mind to my usual 40 Days of Gratitude.  But this year, I have a slightly different focus.

The mountaintop moments of life are wonderful, and the valleys deep and difficult.  But most of us don't spend our daily lives in either place.  Most of life is lived on the slope, pulling ourselves up, or sliding down and trying not to fall any further than we have to.

From a distance, the trail on the side of a mountain looks uniform and smooth.  But when you are there, the path is usually rough, the climb is steep, and the way is strewn with rocks and debris.  It can be hard going, when viewed up close and personal.