When my daughter was born several weeks prematurely, it was a difficult time for me as a mother. Hormonal, frantic, and extremely ill myself, I was nearly out of my mind with worry as she battled through her medical issues. Tubes and wires and machines surrounded her naked little body as she lay on the warming tray, too sick even to be in an incubator. The hardest part for me was allowing various medical procedures which, in the short term, I knew would be painful, in the effort to save her life and her health for the long term. Blood tests every few hours, with her blood measured by the drop. Intravenous lines in her head and her body. Worst of all, a spinal tap without anesthetic, because her fragile little form couldn't tolerate the medication which would have relieved her pain.
Every time the doctor wanted permission to do another procedure, I had to willfully allow them to hurt my precious little baby, so that in the end, she would recover and be healthy. It was one of the most stressful times of my life, but I learned a great deal about God and my faith during those difficult days.
God the Father allowed his only son to be hurt, even killed on a cross, to save me for all eternity. He didn't do it for a vague somebody or other, he did it for me. It is almost overwhelming to know the pain he endured so that I wouldn't have to. It is unconditional grace at its highest level, and it was for me.
I am grateful for the opportunity to be a parent, and to feel a little of the pain that God felt when his son was hanging on that cross for me. It brings me in closer relationship with God, and allows me to deepen the dependence and faith I have in him for all things.
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